


Lucky Heather

by VicesVsVirtues



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: All Human, Alternate Universe, Dream Sex, Explicit Language, F/M, Romance, Sexual Content, University, non shadowhunter universe, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-14 03:30:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VicesVsVirtues/pseuds/VicesVsVirtues
Summary: Clary Fray’s been dreaming about her ex, Jace, but they’re not exactly dreams. When she finds out she’s pregnant with his child, she has no idea what to do.AU/AH - Set in the UK





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sam - the enabling enabler!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Sam+-+the+enabling+enabler%21).



> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare, I just like making them do what I want them to do.
> 
> Unbeta'd - all mistakes are my own

**_Chapter One:_ **

**_Clary POV:_ **

I slammed my phone down onto the desk after he hung up before throwing myself onto my bed. Both upset and angry, I didn’t know whether to cry or scream in rage at the way the conversation had ended. Considering it was two a.m., I limited myself to punching the shit out of my pillow in frustration.

“Woah, Fray. What’s going on?” My flat-mate Maia stood in the doorway of my bedroom, a look of confusion on her tired face. Judging by the plain black tshirt and jeans she wore, she’d obviously just arrived home after her shift at Pandemonium, the nightclub on campus.

“Nothing. I’m just pissed off.” I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud, not yet.

“Okay. If you need to talk, you know where I am, just leave it until after noon please. Tonight was a killer shift.” When I didn’t respond, she smiled and pulled the door closed behind her as she went to go into her own room. With a frustrated sigh, I put my pillow back on my bed and crawled in under the duvet.

He sounded drunk; maybe he hadn’t meant what he’d said. There was no way Jace would waste our two year relationship over a drunken ultimatum.

:: ::

Three weeks had passed since Jace had made me choose between him and university, and I still wasn’t over it. Ever since we’d known each other— which had been almost forever, he’d known I wanted to get into uni to study art and art history. He’d always supported it, even told me he was proud that I knew what I wanted out of life, yet he still made me choose.

The last six months had been hard being so far apart. He hadn’t been able to visit me, and I hadn’t had the time to go and see him back at home due to being overloaded with assignments and exams. We still spoke every day on the phone, but it obviously hadn’t been enough.

Ever since I tried to explain to him that I couldn’t up and leave uni, he’d told me I’d made my choice and cut off all contact and refused to respond to my texts and phone calls. I felt broken, as if I’d lost a limb. Jace had been part of my life for so long, I’d loved him for so long, and to have gone from constant contact to none at all hurt so much.

Maia and Simon, my flat-mates and the best friends I had at uni rallied around me, trying to keep me preoccupied so I wouldn’t mope, but it didn’t work, not completely. I threw myself into my coursework. My final art piece was to be about sorrow and loss using the renaissance style, and all I could picture every time I considered starting it was Jace’s face. Eventually, I went to the art studio at nearly midnight and started sketching. Directly in the middle of the canvas were Jace’s eyes. The eyes I’d looked into for two years, longer without him realising how I felt about him. The eyes with their mix of ice blue and chocolate brown.

Surrounding his eyes were wisps of white blond hair and tattoos on a background of the London skyline. Everything I loved about Jace Herondale, I poured everything into my artwork, finding it cathartic and heartbreaking all at the same time.

After six hours straight of sketching, painting, and making certain parts of the picture stand out, Simon and Maia marched me home to rest.

“We’re taking you out tonight, no arguments.” Maia pushed me into my bedroom with orders to get some sleep.

“I have work to do.”

“It can wait. You need to let loose, even if it’s only for one evening, and tonight is that evening. I’ll wake you up in time to get ready.”

I sat on my bed, struggling to keep my eyes open. Deep in my heart I knew they were right, but wallowing seemed to bring out the best in my art and I was a bit scared to let go just yet.

:: ::

Walking through a muddy field, surround by loud music and bright lights wasn’t my idea of fun, but Simon and Maia hadn’t given me any choice in going to the carnival that had set up a ten minute walk away from campus. Ever since they’d decided to be friends rather than in a relationship, they’d been out together loads, trying different things. It was a shame they didn’t work out as a couple, because they had all the same interests and were complete movie nerds.

“So, to take my mind off everything Jace, you decided it would be a good idea to bring me somewhere to induce a migraine so I sleep for three days straight?”

“Stop your whining Fray and enjoy yourself.” Simon grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me towards what looked like a haunted house.

“If you take me inside that thing, I promise to _never_ enjoy myself ever again.”

I pulled the two of us to a stop, causing Maia to crash into Simon’s back.

“Oh please. These places are usually hilarious rather than scary.” Simon carried on pulling me to the rickety wooden house that looked like a soft breeze would make it collapse.

“I wish to make it known that I don’t trust you, Lewis,” Knowing I wasn’t going to win the argument, I let him pull me inside.

Twenty minutes later, we emerged and my sides were aching from laughing so much. Simon had been right; the haunted house had been funny rather than scary. It was obviously made to scare little kids, rather than almost twenty-one year olds.

“I’m hungry.” Maiai announced as we walked across the pitted field.

“You’re always hungry.” Simon groaned as we changed direction and walked to one of the many burger vans.

“I work and play hard, my metabolism needs to keep up with my energy levels.” Maia sniffed in a haughty manner that was ruined by her wide grin.

“Whatever Roberts. Just go get your half a cow while we wait by the ‘hook a duck’.” Simon pushed her gently as he led me to the kiddie games. “Actually, Clary. I’ll meet you there, I need to go… er… pee.”

Before I could respond, Simon dashed off over to a group of dark bushes at the back end of the large field. Laughing, I carried on walking over to the brightly lit game. I hadn’t quite reached it when a wizened old woman appeared in front of me, her blue eyes washed of most of the colour stood out against her olive skin and the black headscarf covering her hair.

Stopping to prevent myself crashing into her, I tried to step to the side, but she moved fluidly to block my path again. She tilted her head to the side as she stared at me, her eyes boring into mine. The look on her face was sympathetic rather than unkind, and I didn’t feel scared by her. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of my hand and pressed something into it.

“Bless you.” She muttered before turning her back on me and walking away.

In confusion, I looked down at the sprig of what looked like heather, the ends wrapped in foil, that lay in my hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare, I just like making them do what I want them to do.

**_Chapter Two:_ **

 

**_Jace POV_ **

I hated having to cut off all contact with Clary, but she wasn’t able to devote more time to us. For as long as I’d known her, all she’s ever wanted was to head down the path she was on, and I was so fucking proud of her, but I felt like the third wheel in her relationship with university and her coursework.

Giving her the ultimatum was never my plan, but I’d been out drinking with Alec and Magnus, and when she’s phoned to cancel another weekend visiting me, it just slipped out.

That had been three weeks ago and I had to give my phone to Alec to stop myself from phoning Clary to admit I’d made a huge mistake.

“Jace. Are you coming out tonight? Magnus wants to check out the carnival that’s in town.” Alec called into the front room from the kitchen.

“You know that’s not my style mate.”

“Lately, nothing’s your style.” Alec grumbled, watching his best friend moping on the sofa. “Ever since you and Clary broke up, you’ve done nothing and gone nowhere.”

“I’ve not been in the mood.”

“And I get that, but you can’t let the end of your relationship be the end of you as a person.”

Deep down I knew he was right, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to care.

“You and Magnus go out, I’m just gonna stay here and chill with Netflix and a beer.”

I could feel Alec’s eyes on me, but I refused to look at him.

“No. Get up and change your clothes. We’re meeting Magnus in a hour. You’re coming out and you  _ will  _ enjoy yourself. Maybe you’ll meet a girl or three.”

I didn’t want to meet new girls, but I knew there was no getting out of going out with them.

:: ::  
  


The carnival was crap; clearly aimed at younger kids and teenagers, and I wasn’t overly impressed. Alec and Magnus enjoyed themselves and abandoned me to walk through the lame as shit haunted house. More than likely they wanted to find dark spaces so they could have a grope of each other while attempting to break the world record for holding their breath during a kiss.

Alec was like my brother, and I loved him dearly, but ever since coming out after meeting Magnus, he’d become public display of affection’s biggest fan and there’s only so many breathy ‘no, I love you more’ I can take before I completely lose the plot.

Naturally, as I waited for them to emerge, I couldn’t help but think about Clary. Picturing her red hair and her tiny stature that always made me feel like her protector turned me on just as much as it made me sad. Girls walked past me, flicking their hair and giggling, but I didn’t pay them any attention. Sure, they were pretty, but they weren’t Clary.

My erection was painful, and I seriously considered hiding in a bush to crack one out, but before I could make a definitive decision, an old gypsy woman appeared in front of me.

“Excuse me, I just need to…” I attempted to step round her, but that old bird was fast on her feet. She blocked my path three times before I gave up trying to get past her. “Look lady, I’ve got friends to meet, so could you please move out of my way.”

I may have been a bit of a cock, but I respected my elders, and this woman was older than God himself from the look of it. Her rheumy eyes bore into mine, and I could tell the hair she hid under a black scarf was white— I was judging by the long hairs sticking out of her pointy chin, Rather than grant my polite request, she grabbed hold of my hand. Her grip was like a bony vice, but it didn’t last long.

“Bless you.” Was the only thing she said to me the entire time, her voice younger than her looks. I looked down at my hand and squinted at the purple flower wrapped in silver foil. When I lifted my head back up, she was gone.

“Some girl giving you flowers again Herondale?” Magnus’ voice made me jump as he and Alec appeared behind me. I opened my mouth to tell them about the creepy old lady, but for some reason, I decided to keep it to myself. Instead, I resorted to showing affection in the form of abuse.

“Have you two quite finished scaring little kids with sex noises? Can I eat now?”

Alec gaped at me while Magnus grinned, his eyes looking strangely cat-like. His addiction to novelty contact lenses was getting boring, so I ignored it.

“Let’s go eat.” Alec found his voice as he stalked off in front of me.

“I hope you washed your hands.” I called after him, making Magnus cackle.

Unsure why, I tucked the flower in my pocket rather than dump it in the first bin I walked past and didn’t give it another thought for the rest of the evening.

:: ::

We stayed at the carnival til almost midnight, and by the time we left I was not only exhausted, but I was bored stupid. Three girls had attempted to talk to me, and another two had given me their phone numbers. No one seemed to get the hint that I wasn’t interested in anyone other than Clary.

When I got home, I rooted around in the pockets of my jeans and threw the scraps of paper with hastily scribbled phone numbers away without even glancing at the names accompanying them. As I pulled the small purple flower out of my pocket, I remembered the ancient gypsy woman who creeped me out. I was tempted to throw it away, but something held me back.

Holding it in my hand, I looked around my stark bedroom. It was bland and bare, which never usually bothered me, but for some reason it did at that moment. I placed the flower by the only piece of personalisation I had, a photo of me and Clary which sat on my plain bedside table and went for a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still totally blaming Sam for this...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features sex. Nothing too graphic.
> 
> Thanks to my enabler Sam for giving this fic a read through and catching my stupid mistakes - especially as this chapter was written on my phone at a BBQ!

**_Chapter Three:_ **

 

_ Jace ran his hands up Clary’s smooth legs, stopping when he reached hips. He pulled her closer to him so their bodies were flush together, their clothes a barrier between them. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity he had felt for a long time. _

_ “I’ve missed you, so fucking much.” Jace kept his voice low as he stared at Clary’s face; the face he’d been unable to stop picturing in his mind. _

_ “I’ve missed you too, but you didn’t need to come all the way here to tell me that.” _ _   
_

_ “That’s where you’re wrong, it’s exactly what I needed to do.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, hesitant at first as if unsure how she’d react. When she kissed him back, he increased the pressure against her lips. A clash of teeth followed by a swirl of tongues made him moan into her mouth. _

_ As their kiss grew even more heated, Jace leaned forward so that Clary was on her back on the bed. It didn’t take him long to remove her tank and short pyjamas. Once she was naked beneath him, he leaned back on his knees and took the sight of her pale skin in it’s entirety. _

_ “There’s no way on Earth that I can explain how much I’ve wanted to do this in the last three weeks.” He kept his gaz fixed firmly on her face. _

_ “Then why did you give me that stupid ultimatum?” Clary asked, not trying to be unkind. _

_ “Because I’m an idiot and was drunk. Plus, I was pissed off that you couldn’t make your visit as planned.” _

_ “At least you’re honest Jace Herondale. That’s one thing of many that I love about you. Enough talking now, kiss me.” _

_ With a wide smile, Jace followed her command. _

_ As they kissed, Clary tugged at the hem of the black tshirt Jace wore. Pulling away, he dragged it over his head before standing, kicking his boots off, and tugging down his jeans. _

_ Crawling onto the bed, Jace hovered over Clary, smiling down at her. He was waiting for her to indicate she wanted to continue. Her nod was barely perceptible, but it was signal enough. He lowered himself so he could capture her nipple between his lips. The moan she let out at the contact spurred him to nibble with his teeth before teasing with the tip of his tongue. _

_ He teased her side with his fingertips before slowly lowering his hand until he reached her clit, which he began to circle with his fingertip. _

_ “Jace, don’t tease me. It’s been too long, and I need to feel you inside me.” Clary’s voice was husky from her arousal. _

_ “Your wish is my command.” _

_ Jace stroked his erection a couple of times before aligning himself with her. Waiting for another nod, he looked up at Clary’s face. She locked eyes with him and smiled. With excruciating slowness, he pushed into her until their bodies were flush together. _

_ :: :: _

_ Clary moaned Jace’s name as he filled her entirely. The sensation as familiar to her as sketching onto canvas. Instinct made her back arch off the bed as the two of them began moving slowly together. _

_ Wanting and needing more, Clary wrapped her legs around Jace’s waist to get them even closer than they already were. As if sensing her needs, he sped up his thrusts, causing their bare skin to slap together, joining the sound of their moans in the silent room. _

_ “Harder… I need it harder Jace.” Clary moaned. _

_ Without separating their bodies, Jace flipped them over so Clary was straddling him. She immediately took control and began to move, faster and faster. _

_ “Clary…” _

_ She could tell from the strain in his voice and the taut muscles in his neck that he was close to coming apart. Grinding down, she slowed her movements, but exerted more pressure which caused a delicious friction against her clit. _

_ “Let go with me.” _

_ She lifted his hands from her thighs to grip her waist. He used his hands to speed her movements up so he was able to hit her sweet spot as he lifted his hips to meet her downward grinding. Within a few thrusts, Clary could feel the muscles in her abdomen tightening. _

_ “Jace, let go.” _

_ Roaring her name, his orgasm exploded into her, causing enough extra friction for her own to follow seconds later. Riding out the tremors of her climax, Clary’s movements were haphazard and rough. _

_ Eventually, with both of them fighting to catch their breath, they slowed to a stop and Clary collapsed onto Jace’s chest. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear some of your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Sam for her beta magic.

**_Chapter Four:_ **

 

**_Clary:_ **

I lay in bed, panting as if I’d run a marathon.

“What the hell…?”

I could still feel Jace inside me, could still smell sex in the air, yet it had only been a dream. Admittedly, the most realistic dream I’d ever had, but still a dream nonetheless.

Missing Jace was obviously screwing with my mind, and I didn’t have time to get distracted by sex dreams about my ex. Even if it was an ex I was still hopelessly in love with. Pushing all memories of the dream out of my head, I climbed out of bed and dragged myself into the shower.

“You look like crap.” Simon informed me as I emerged from my bedroom, finally ready to face the day.

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself there Lewis.”

“Shit, sorry Clary. I didn’t mean t-”

“I know, don’t worry about it. I just didn’t sleep very well.” It was true, I was exhausted, all because of that dream.

“Have you got a busy day, or can you chill for a while?”

Simon was a media student, and their timetable was pretty fluid, plus he got to spend a boat-load of time in editing suites or out and about with a video camera. I was a little jealous, but he claimed he was jealous of all the time I got to spend looking at naked bodies— I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the majority of them were men.

“No chance to chill, I need to get more work done on my canvas, as well as having a meeting about my dissertation which I’m hoping will be approved.”

“Have you finally decided on a topic then?”

“Yeah, Heartbreak depicted by Renaissance artists; well, something along those lines” I was hoping I could link it to my canvas I’d been working on.

“Well, good luck Fray.”

“I’m gonna need it.”

:: ::

Thankfully, my meeting went well, despite me yawning my head off. My topic was tweaked and then approved. I decided to head into the library to make a start on some research, before spending a few hours in the studio with my canvas.

As I walked through the Student Union, my phone rang in my bag. Hoping it was Jace, I rummaged through my bag to grab it. I didn’t even look at the name flashing on the screen as I answered it.

“Hello?”

_ “Hey.” _

It wasn’t Jace, it was Isabelle, Alec’s sister, and my best friend back home.

“Hey you. How’s it going?”

_ “Don’t you mean ‘how’s Jace doing?” _

I hadn’t, but considering she mentioned his name. The sigh escaped me before I could stop it.

“I wasn’t going to mention him, but…”

_ “Oh honey. You sound as miserable as he’s acting.”  _ Her voice was thick with sympathy. I missed her and realised that I needed to talk. While Maia and Simon were great, they only knew Jace from his visits that were few and far between. Isabelle had known the both of us most of her life and just… knew us. Afterall, her brother was Jace’s best friend.

“He’s miserable?”

_ “Of course he is. What did you think, that he’s be partying and sleeping around?”  _ The thought  _ had  _ crossed my mind.

“Well, he’s the one who ended things, so I honestly had no idea what he’d be doing.”

I walked into the SU cafe and bought myself a latte and managed to grab a seat on one of the sofas by the window. Staring out of it, I watched students walking around, wondering where they were heading.

_ “Clarissa, are you listening to me?” _

Isabelle knew I hated my full name, so I’d obviously missed her speaking.

“Sorry Izzy, I’m all over the place today. What were you saying?”

_ “I was saying that while Jace may have ended things, it doesn’t mean he actually wanted to. He was out with Alec and Magnus, got drunk and depressed about playing third wheel to those two, and took it out on you. He misses the shit out of you and clearly regrets giving you that ultimatum.” _

So, Jace had spoken to Isabelle about us. It hurt a little that he would speak to her about regretting what he did, but not to me. Then again, she was around him every day, he actually saw Isabelle, whereas I was on the other side of the country.

“Well, shouldn’t  _ he  _ be telling me this, not you? Did he put you up to this phone call?”

_ “Oh please, like Jace would ask me to speak to you on his behalf. You know him as well as I do, you know he’s not exactly backwards in coming forwards is he?”  _ She wasn’t wrong. Jace was the most forthright person I knew, and never held back his opinion, whether he’d been asked for it or not.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m so bloody frustrated with him. If you say he’s as upset as I am over this whole situation, then why isn’t he phoning me instead of you?”

I knew I was sounding like I was desperate, but I kind of was. I just couldn’t get my head round it all. Not having him in my life was like having one of my limbs amputated. It was killing me, and I didn’t know what to do to change things or get them back to how they were.

_ “Hey, where are you right now?”  _ It was the strangest question, but I expected random from Izzy.

“I’m in the Student Union, chugging a coffee, why?”

_ “I gotta go for five, I’ll call you back.” _

Confused, I listened to a dead phone for a couple of seconds before dropping my phone back in my bag. Just as I was finishing my drink, Isabelle walked through the Student Union in a blood red dress which offset her long black hair and pale skin. Every guy in the place watched her as she walked towards me, a wide smile on her face.

“Oh my God, Izzy. What the hell are you doing here?”

I jumped up and ran over to her, crushing her in a tight hug.

“It’s about time I came to visit, and now’s as good a time as any.”

She disentangled herself from me and sat down. Gazing around, a small smile played on her blood red lips.

“What?” She asked, her voice full of amusement. I was squinting at her, trying to work out why she’d show up out of the blue like this.

“Why now? You’ve never been bothered with visiting before now, happy to facetime and skype, so why the surprise visit?”

As much as I love Izzy and it was so good to see her, I wasn’t convinced that the timing was purely coincidence.

“I’m worried about you and how you’re dealing with this whole break-up thing you have going on with Jace.”

“Iz… It was his choice, and he hasn’t responded to any of my messages since, so I’m dealing with it in the only way I know how. I’m not thinking about it.”

She stared at my face.

“You’re a liar, but I’ll let it slide for now. Anyway, want to give me the grand tour?”

:: ::

“Yeah, you’re totally not thinking about Jace. I can see that now.” Isabelle walked up to my dissertation canvas, looking at the very recognisable eyes dead centre.

“Iz… don’t, please.” I groaned as I touched up some of the missing detail. Thankfully, no one else was in the room with us, not that Isabelle would have let that stop her speaking whatever popped into her head.

“There’s something you’re not telling me. I can tell.”

I turned to look at Isabelle to find her looking at me in sympathy. That alone nearly had me in tears. I put my paintbrush down and sat on a stool, trying to prevent the tears from spilling.

“Clary, talk to me.”

Holding my head in my hands, I sensed Isabelle walk over to me. The touch of her hands on my shoulders startled me a little.

“I don’t know what to do without him. When I was younger, I made a promise to myself that I’d never identify myself by the guy I was dating, but I can’t cope knowing he’s not a part of my life.” Finally, I let the tears fall, causing Isabelle to wrap her arms around me. “It just hurts Iz, it hurts so fucking much.”

“I know sweetie, I know. But you have to get through it.”

“I’m trying, I promise. But the dreams aren’t helping.”

“What dreams?”

I took a deep breath before carrying on.

“I’ve been having… dreams about Jace. Me and Jace… you know… sex dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit 'filler', but I hope you like it!

**_Chapter Five:_ **

 

**_Jace POV:_ **

I couldn’t get it out of my head, the image of Clary and I. Three nights on the run I’d dreamed about us having sex; well, making love. It was soft and sensual, and waking up burst the bubble of the shitstorm I’d created with my ridiculous ultimatum.

The dreams played on my mind as I went around my morning routine. I couldn’t get rid of the image of Clary’s naked body beneath mine, and more than anything, I wanted to borrow Magnus’ car and drive over to see her. I was more than willing to drive for four hours straight just so I could see and speak to her, hold her.

Unfortunately, I had a shift at Java Jones in less than an hour. If I didn’t turn up again, I would lose my job and I couldn’t afford for that to happen. My manager was an arsehole, but I enjoyed my job.

The uni thing never appealed to me, and I’d never understood Clary’s desire to go, even if I respected it. Alec and Izzy didn’t get it either. They both worked with their parents at their family owned bookshop, The Institute. Izzy used it as an opportunity to flirt with the customers, while Alec hid out the back with his dad, working on restoring old and expensive books.

I loved going into the shop. I would grab a leather bound hardback book, and sit on one of the sofas that were dotted around the huge space, and read for hours until Alec or Izzy finished up their work. Robert and Maryse treated me like a third Lightwood which was pretty great.

:: ::

Java Jones was busy when I arrived. A quick scan ensured that my boss, Valentine Morgenstern, wasn’t working the counter. Thanking a multitude of deities I wasn’t quite sure I believed in, I made my way to the tiny staff area next to Val’s office. The door was open, which meant he’d left for the day.

I stowed my bag and jacket in a tiny locker and went back into the coffee shop, grabbing a clean apron on my way.

“Hey man, I’m glad you’re here. Morgenstern’s been a hard arse all day, and I’ve been on my feet all morning.” Alaric looked exhausted. I hated the early shift, opening up at six in the morning and working straight through until two in the afternoon. It was a killer shift.

“Well, I’m here now, so you can leave.”

“Not all heroes wear capes, Herondale. Catch you later.”

After Alaric left, I busied myself behind the counter. The footfall was busy enough to take my mind off Clary and my dreams for a couple of hours, at least until the shop was empty.

“Hey Jace.” Alec’s voice followed the annoying jingle of the bell above the door. I looked up to watch him weave his way through the tables towards me.

“Hi Alec.” The yawn I tried to stifle won the battle and split my face.

“Riveting day at work I see.” Alec folded himself into one of the high backed-stools placed against a breakfast style bar along the window.

“Man, I feel like shit. I haven’t been sleeping properly, and it’s just catching up with me. Where’s Magnus?”

It was the first time in a while— since they got together in fact, that I’d seen Alec without Magnus. It was slightly disorientating.

“His parents dragged him to see his aunt Tessa. Some family thing,”

“So you thought you’d come and gaze on this wondrous being?” I couldn’t help but wind him up. I’d known Alec since we were ten, and I’d always known he was gay even though it took him a while to accept and admit it. So, being his best friend, I gave him crap about not being attracted to me. He took it with grace, and often gave me shit back for not being his type.

It was what friends did, at least it’s what me and my friends did.

“Well, you’re not the one for me, but if you want, I can feel up your arse to make you feel better.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Without even trying, Alec always could make me feel better.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. Thoughtful gesture though.” I pottered around the counter, making Alec’s regular plain, black coffee which I carried over to him and placed in front of him with a forced flourish.

“But seriously, you look like crap.”

“Alec Lightwood, you silver-tongued devil, is this how you charmed Magnus?”

“Fuck you.” His grin took the sting out of his words.

I sat down next to him and yawned again.

“Why are you so tired?” Alec looked genuinely worried.

“I’m just not sleeping much lately.”

“Still mooning over Clary?”

Just the mention of her name made my heart jump in my chest. I’d managed to keep myself busy enough so I didn’t spend every minute thinking about her, and how it felt to make love to her in my dreams. Dreams that felt so damn real that I woke up trying to catch my breath as if I’d exerted myself.

“Not helping dude, not helping.”

“Sorry. I know you miss Clary, and I know she misses you too. So much so, I had to turn your damn phone off.” Why did he have to tell me that? Knowing I’d hurt her was bad enough, but being confronted with the proof of how much of a dick I was… that made things ten times worse. “Look, why not just swallow your pride and phone her? Admit you fucked up, and that you want to try again.”

“Because I can’t. This isn’t like admitting I threw away her favourite jacket by mistake. I broke her heart, and there’s not coming back from that.” I yawned again.

“You need to get some sleep.”

“I’d love to get some, but everytime I close my eyes, Clary’s there.”

Before Alec could comment, the bell jingled above the door and a group of teenage girls walked in. They were regulars and they all flirted while I prepared their ridiculous frilly orders.

“Thanks Jace…” They sing-songed once I was done and they crowded round a table near the door.

“Yeah, sure girls. Enjoy.” I wiped the counter down, watching Alec walk over to me.

“Are you… I mean..."

“Alec, spit it out.” I had a feeling what the question was going to be.

“Are you having sex dreams about Clary?” I closed my eyes and sighed. “Because if you are, that’s a sure sign that you need to get in contact with her. Either get back together, or get closure.”

“Really Alec? That’s your solution? Thanks, real helpful mate.” Throwing the cloth in the small sink, I turned my back on him to fiddle with the display behind me.

“Jace… I… That’s not what I meant. You know I’m not great with this stuff, but…”

“But what Alec?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but having sex dreams about your ex almost a month after things ended isn’t a good sign of anything.”

He was right, in a roundabout way; not that I was going to admit to it.

“Maybe you should talk to Izzy about it, get a girl’s perspective.”

“No. I’m not talking to Isabelle about my inability to not come in my pants over a dream.” I turned back to look at him. “And don’t tell Magnus about this either. This stays between the two of us.”

“Okay… but let it be known that I think you’re making a mistake.” He rummaged around in his pocket for a moment. “And, I think it’s about time you had this back, I gotta go, see you later.

He left my phone on the counter.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter of Dream Sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shoutout to Sam for beta'ing for me.
> 
> I hope you have a fab time at Forsaken this weekend.

**_Chapter Six:_ **

_ Jace watched as Clary dropped to her knees in front of where he sat on the sofa. Her pale skin glowed in the sliver of moonlight that shone through the slit in the curtains. Deftly, her slender fingers— artist’s fingers, undid his belt and then the button fly of his jeans. Without a word, he lifted his hips to allow her to slide his jeans down his legs to his ankles. Her blue eyes shot up to meet his when she realised he wasn’t wearing any underwear. His grin was wide as she chuckled softly before taking his erection in her hand, _

_ His moan was loud as she ran the tip of her tongue along the underside of rock hard cock before swirling it around the swollen tip. As Clary took him fully into her mouth, the warm heat sending shivers through his entire body, Jace gripped the seat either side of him so tight, his knuckles went white, but it didn’t stop his hips jerking up as she hollowed her cheeks to increase the friction against him. _

_ “Fuck… Clary…” Jace felt her smile around him at his garbled attempt at speaking, before she wrapped one hand around the base of him and begin to pump him as she worked him with her mouth. A moment later, her other hand cupped his balls and squeezed them gently as she sucked and licked at him. _

_ Looking down, Jace couldn’t help but notice how red Clary’s hair looked as it flared out across his thighs. Gently, he threaded his fingers through it, and scratched against her scalp. The contact made her moan, sending vibrations along his erection. He let out a hiss as she gripped him tighter with her hand. _

_ It didn’t take long for Jace to feel his orgasm building. It had been too long since he and Clary had spent any time together, and the feel and sight of her with his dick in her mouth had made him come undone quicker than he would have liked. _

_ “Clary…” Was the only word he could utter before he let out a guttural groan, coming in Clary’s mouth. He’d never done that before, and he stared down at her as she swallowed as much as she could. A trickle of the milky-white liquid escaped out of the corner of her mouth as she once again locked eyes with him, a small smile on her face. _

_ “Your turn.” Jace helped her to her feet before standing up and removing her pyjamas. Once again, the sight of her naked before him took his breath away. “Have I told you how beautiful you are lately?” He murmured as he cupped her breasts, the thumb and forefinger on both hands rolling her nipples between them. _

_ Clary moaned, the sound of her voice spurring Jace into action. With a soft nudge, he pushed her onto the sofa where he’d been sat moments before. Smiling, he stood in front of her and removed his tshirt, exposing his new tattoo on his chest. The black ink was a doodle Clary had done on a napkin when they’d been in Java Jones a year or so before. It was a single line that looped down, almost into a point, with two wing-like shapes at the top. Jace once described them as folded angel wings. Clary didn’t even know that he’d kept it. _

_ Without thinking, she leaned forward and ran her fingertips over it gently. She could feel where it was scabbed over. She knew he had one other, a small crucifix on his hip, but seeing this one, something  _ she’d  _ drawn gave her a feeling of warmth. _

_ “No touching.” Jace spoke softly, pushing her back against the sofa so her could lean over her and kiss her deeply. “This time, it’s all about you.” _

_ Clary laughed as he slid to his knees, placing kisses on her stomach, moving slowly down until he reached her soft curls. He could feel the warmth radiating from her, indicating how turned on she was. Jace placed featherlight kisses on the inside of her thighs, excruciatingly close to her core. Eventually, he gave in to her pleading and ran the tip of his tongue softly along her lips before taking her clit between his lips and sucking on it. _

_ “Holy shit, Jace…” Clary’s moans got louder as Jace slid a finger into her, curling it enough to hit her g spot with every slow thrust. _

_ Using his mouth and his hand, he brought her to the brink of release, but before she could completely let go, he pulled away. Clary moaned at the sudden lack of contact, but Jace stood up on his knees, grabbed hold of her hips, pulled her towards him, and lined up his cock with her. Locking his eyes onto her, he pushed in with one smooth movement and began to pound into her, hard and fast. _

_ This was not ‘making love’, this was sex; raw and passionate. It was just what the both of them needed, and it didn’t take long for Clary to scream out Jace’s name as her orgasm was ripped from her. He slowed his movements to help her ride it out, but she gripped his hips tightly. _

_ “No, don’t go slow. Fuck me until you can’t keep going.” _

_ At her command, Jace planted his hands on the sofa either side of her hips to steady himself and pounded into her harder and faster than before. He threw his head back and yelled an indecipherable string of words as his own climax tore from him. _

_ Panting, he unlocked his elbows and lowered himself to kiss Clary, taking her breath away with the pure passion he was conveying in the contact. _

_ “Fuck. I love you Clary Fray.” He spoke clearly into her ear after pulling away from the kiss that tasted of sex and ‘Clary.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts x


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Sam for her epic beta skills. Any mistakes are my own - 
> 
> Usual disclaimer that I've been forgetting - all recognisable characters belong to Cassandra Clare!

**_Chapter Seven:_ **

 

**_Clary POV:_ **

I was exhausted. It had been almost a month since the dreams started, and even going to bed early didn’t help. Almost every night, Jace and I— well, dream Jace and I, screwed like rabbits for the entire night. Every position conceivable, we’d done it along with every place we’d ever been together, including the office at The Institute, the Lightwood’s book shop.

Simon and Maia were worried about me. Every morning they told me how tired I looked and I couldn’t help but be embarrassed, worried they’d heard me, but they never said anything if they did. Whenever I wasn’t in a room, I could hear whispering that stopped whenever I entered, so I knew they were talking about me, but they never said anything to my face.

Beyond the exhaustion, I was up to my ears in uni work, and the only thing keeping me going was the memory of Jace’s hands on my bare and flushed skin even though I  _ knew  _ it wasn’t real. I wanted it to be real, so much. Having Jace love me in my dreams was a poor substitute for him being in my life, but it was better than nothing.

I hadn’t even told Izzy that knowing I sounded desperate, but it still hurt. While I was able to get through my day without attempting to call him or to text him a silly photo of a duck, but that didn’t stop me thinking about him for the majority of the time, even if I wasn’t at the ‘wanting to rip my heart out’ stage still.

“Are you coming out tonight?” Maia joined me in the library, dropping her laptop and a huge pile of books on the table between us.

“I don’t know…”

“Oh come on, you need a night out, let off some steam, and maybe meet a guy or three.”

Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to my assignment. Meeting new guys was the last thing I needed. Isabelle had suggested the same on more than one occasion, joking that getting under someone new would help me start getting over Jace.

“Maia, I’m snowed under with these assignments. A night out is the last thing I need until I’ve finished them.”

“Clary, you’ve done nothing but work and mope for the last month or so. It’s time to let loose, and one night isn’t going to kill you. I promise.”

Maybe she was right. A night out could be good for me, and maybe I could dance myself into a decent night’s sleep.

“Okay, I’ll come out, but only if you let me work for a couple of hours before we go anywhere.”

With a grin of self-satisfaction, Maia opened her laptop and began reading through some highlighted passages in the pile of books surrounding her.

:: ::

Rummaging through my wardrobe, I was assaulted by memories of Jace. The dress I wore on our first date, the scarf he gave me during a cold walk along the beach, and the shoes I kept on the last time we’d had sex because he said it turned him on so much. I didn’t wear heels often, but when I’d decided to wear a pair of plain black stiletto pumps, Jace’s eyes had almost popped out of his head and he couldn’t stop complimenting me on how good they looked. With a sigh, I pushed them to the back of my wardrobe, and pulled out a pair of black, low heeled boots.

A pair of shoes Jace had never seen, matched up with black jeans, and a low cut black top. It felt like I was putting on armour to protect me against the world. Apart from the evening at the carnival, I hadn’t been out beyond uni, shopping, and grabbing a coffee with Maia and Simon, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable. To shield myself that bit more, I grabbed a leather jacket from the back of my bedroom door and pulled it on.

As I walked into the kitchen to find Simon waiting for us, I realised my jacket was one of Jace’s that he’d loaned me on a visit back home. More than anything, I wanted to run back into my room and crawl into bed, hugging the jacket, but before I could move, Simon looked over at me a smiled widely.

“Hey, Clary. I’m so glad you agreed to come out tonight. We’re going to have a great time.”

“I’m sure we will.”

“Damn straight we will.” Maia’s voice made me jump. I turned to face her and was struck dumb by her clothes. I’d never seen her wear anything other than jeans and a tshirt, but tonight she wore a figure-hugging black dress with killer heels. She’d relaxed and straightened her curly hair so that it hung just below her shoulders in a sleek bob.

“Damn…” Simon whistled through his teeth, a look of appreciation on his face. There was nothing in it, they’d tried and failed, but Simon could still appreciate a good looking woman.

“Let’s get going.” Maia was ready and raring to go.

:: ::

After a couple of hours of shoving my way through the crowded club, I was ready to leave, but there was no way Maia and Simon would let me leave on my own, yet Simon was chatting up the girl behind the bar, and Maia had disappeared with people she knew from the club. I’d sat with Simon for a while, but feeling like a third wheel I quickly got boring. I made my way through the crowd to the bathroom to try and cool down before looking for Maia so I could go home.

“Hey, Clary.” A group of people from my course were having fun on the dance floor. They invited me over to join them. Willingly, I agreed and soon lost myself in the pounding bassline.

Within a few minutes, a pair of strong, warm hands were placed on my waist. At first I relaxed into their touch, automatically thinking it was Jace. Then, I remembered and tensed up.

“It’s okay Clary, it’s Victor from Art History. I only want to dance with you.” Victor Aldertree thought a lot of himself from what I remembered of him from lectures and studio time. He was decent looking— not my type, and knew it. I started to pull away from him, but the memory of Jace’s ultimatum hit me and reminded me of Izzy’s advice to get over him.

“One dance, but then I need to go.” I turned round and looped my arms around the back of his neck as we swayed too slowly to the upbeat music playing.

:: ::

Victor held onto me, his arm tight around my waist as he caused me to weave along the pavement back to the flat. I’d only had a couple of drinks, but from what I’d seen, Victor had thrown beer after beer down his neck. He was pretty unsteady on his feet, but still insisted on walking me home.

“Well, this is me.” I stopped outside the security door of our small block of flats. Victor struggled to focus on my face, but when he finally managed it, he grinned at me.

“Are you going to invite me in?” He began to sway back and forth as he leered at me.

“Uhm… not tonight. I have an early start in the morning.” I kept my voice light as I shoved my hand in my pocket searching for my keys.

“Go on Clary, you know you want to.” Victor stumbled forwards and tried to kiss me, the stench of alcohol on his breath making me feel nauseous.

“Victor, no. Go home and sober up.” I gave him a shove, just slight enough to move him away from me.

“Oh come on Clary, you know you want to. You’ve been all over me all evening.” He grabbed hold of my upper arms and pulled me close into him and started kissing my neck.

“Victor, get  _ off me.”  _ I tried to push him off me, but he was too strong.

“Are you just a tease Clary?” Victor kissed at my neck again. “Or are you just a bit shy?”

Before I could respond, Victor was pulled away from me and thrown to the ground. Shaking, I turned to look at Jace, fury written all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts :D


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've not only been blocked, but I've been busy releasing my latest novel and proofreading for a few people.
> 
> I'm currently writing chapter 10, and hopefully will get a fair way ahead of myself so I can start posting regularly again.
> 
> As always, a huge thanks to Sam for doing epic beta work on this fic!

**_Chapter Eight:_ **

 

 ** _Jace:_**  

Seeing Clary standing in front of me, shaking and white as a sheet of paper broke my resolve. Within seconds, I was stood in front of her, pulling her into my arms. She burst into tears at the contact. 

“Sshh. It’s over.” I stroked her hair as I looked over my shoulder. The creep who had been all over her was swaying away down the road. “It’ll be okay.” I held her in my arms, breathing in her scent, and relishing being so close to her again. “Where are your keys? Let’s get you inside?” 

Clary handed me her key and let me lead her inside. I went straight into the kitchen and made her a coffee, just how she liked it as she went into her bedroom to change. By the time she joined me, I was sitting up on the work surface, two steaming cups of coffee at my side. 

“What are you doing here Jace?” I’d expected the question, and had an answer all planned out, but when I opened my mouth, something I _hadn’t_ planned came out. 

“I missed you.” 

I’d supposed to have told her that I needed to make sure she was okay, and that she was moving on. While I was being plagued with dreams about her, I needed to know she wasn’t still pissed off with me and that she’d started to forget about me. I still hadn’t turned my phone back on since Alec had given it back to me because I was too scared to read Clary’s texts and listen to her voicemails. 

At my words, Clary put her cup down and began to pace around the kitchen, a sure sign she was pissed off. She didn’t say anything for at least five minutes but glared at me every time she paced towards me. 

“Clary, I-” 

“No, no you don’t get to just turn up here, and the only reason you give is that you missed me. That’s unfair Jace after everything.” She stopped pacing and stood across the room facing me, her hands on her hips, and an angry look on her face. It was a little diluted by the fact that she wore a pink onesie with rubber ducks on it. A gift that Isabelle had bought for her one Christmas to wind me up; Clary had obviously picked it to wear on purpose. I could help but smile at the sight of her, but soon wiped it off my face as she continued to glare at me, her light brown eyes flashing with anger that matched the red hair on her head. 

“Please, listen to me. Saying I only showed up because I missed you, while true, was the wrong thing for me to say. It wasn’t what I’d planned to say, but it’s the truth.” 

“So, over a month of zero contact, and it’s okay for you to turn up and tell me that you _miss me?”_ Her voice was getting louder the angrier she got, something that had always happened when she got mad, especially at him. They’d rarely argued, but when they did… Clary would lose her shit before going quiet, and then apologising. “That’s just not fair Jace. You broke me, then cut off from me, completely. So yes, that was the wrong thing for you to say.” 

Eventually, she pulled herself up onto the work surface opposite me and sipped at her coffee. A thin smile played at the corner of her mouth at the taste. As always, her coffee was perfect, but I knew she wasn’t about to compliment me. 

“I’m sorry Clary, I really am. If I’m honest, I don’t actually know why I’m here, I just needed to see you. I gave Alec my phone after I last spoke to you because I knew that if I heard your voice I would have caved and admitted how much I regretted what I did,” Clary began to interrupt me, but I held my hand up to stop her. “Yes, giving you an ultimatum like that was a mistake, but I also stand by it. We’re living two separate lives far away from each other and I can’t cope with it. Having said that, I miss you and I still love you, and I needed to see you.” 

“What, for your own gratification? You wanted to see how broken I was, how I couldn’t function day to day? Well, screw you Jace Herondale. I _can_ cope without you. Yes, it’s been hard and I’ve been hurt more than I ever thought possible, but I got through it. So, now that your curiosity has been satisfied, I think you can go home.” 

For the first time since I’d known Clary, she turned her back on me. That hurt me more than her words. Without saying anything further, I put my empty cup in the sink and slid off the work surface. I debated trying to talk to her, but knew it wouldn’t work, so I simply walked out of the room and the flat. 

I sat in the car for over an hour going over what had been said between Clary and I, wondering if there had been anything I could have said differently to get her to understand how much I hated being apart from her. 

I’d even considered telling her about the dreams to try and make her understand how much I missed her, but decided against it in case she thought I was just horny. Which I was, but it was more than that. 

“Damnit!” I slammed my fists against the wheel before starting the engine and beginning the drive home. 

:: :: 

“Where did you disappear off to last night? One minute you were with us, then the next you were just... Gone, with Magnus’ car too. He’s not happy about that by the way.” 

Isabelle walked into Java Jones as if she owned the place. Admittedly, she could walk into any room and command the attention of ninety percent of the occupants. Izzy was beautiful and she owned it, played on it, even used it to her advantage. While she was stunning, I’d always believed Clary was more beautiful. Her red hair made her stand out in a crowd, but she never drew attention to herself. She tended to underestimate her looks with casual clothes. It was this attitude that made her all the more attractive to me every time I saw her. 

“I went to see Clary.” 

I placed a fresh coffee in front of her and turned back to wipe down the counter so I didn’t have to look at her. 

“Oh my God. Are you two back together? Because you two arguing really messes with my chi.” 

“Your what? When have you ever been zen?” I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean. You and Clary have been ‘you and Clary’ for too long, now you’re not, I don’t know what to think about it all.” 

“You’re not the only one Iz.” 

Moving away to serve newcomers into the shop, I could feel Isabelle’s eyes on me and I could almost hear her thinking. My impromptu trip to visit Clary had been a split-second decision, made when Magnus’ car keys fell out of his pocket as we sat in the corner of Java Jones on slam poetry night. As usual, Magnus was transfixed while I was bored out of my mind. 

I’d grabbed his keys and snuck out through the back door. I was halfway to Clary’s when I remembered to text him to let him know his car was safe and I’d return it as soon as I could. 

“Well… are you?” Isabelle asked me as soon as I was free from serving. “Are you back together?” 

“No, we’re not back together Iz.” I emerged from behind the counter and sat on a chair next to Isabelle. 

“What happened? Why did you even go?” 

I sighed before starting to speak. Isabelle was the only one I ever went to for advice. She may have been ‘high maintenance’ to her… many boyfriends, but to me she may as well have been my sister, and she gave the best advice. 

“It’s been so hard not speaking to Clary after I was an idiot, but I was too scared to turn my phone on and listen to her voicemails. I thought it would be a good idea to drive over there and just watch for a while; see if she was getting over… well, me.” 

“Jace Herondale, you are an idiot. You honestly think that five or six weeks is enough time to get over the person you love more than you love yourself after they give you a shitty ultimatum and then cut off all contact? Seriously, you’re the cockiest bastard I know, but you really are clueless when it comes to women.” She was shaking her head in defeat more than anger. “I would have thought being with Clary for so long that you’d at least be able to understand her, but this shows you don’t.” 

“Iz, not now please.” 

“No, now is exactly the right time. Seriously Jace. Why did you think it was good idea just to turn up out of the blue like that?” 

“I wasn't going to talk to her. Yeah, that sounds all kinds of stalkerish, but I needed to see her, see that she was okay. But then I saw some dude all over her and trying to kiss her while she pushed him away, that I lost it.” 

I carried on telling Isabelle what had happened after I’d pulled him off Clary. Saying the words out loud made me realise how much of an idiot I’d been. I’d only been thinking of myself, and because of that, I hurt Clary yet again. 

“You could have been a bit more diplomatic, but you’re Jace. You wouldn’t know diplomacy if it danced naked in front of you. You need to understand that by telling Clary that while you still love her, you’re not willing to wait for her to finish uni, you broke her heart again. I know you are an honest person, but couldn’t you have softened the blow a bit?” 

“No, I don’t think I could. I’m constantly exhausted, and I can’t seem to think straight. If it wasn’t for these damn dreams preventing me from sleeping, I wouldn’t have made such a stupid mistake in going to see her.” 

“Well, maybe now you- wait, you’re having dreams too?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts. Am I getting the characters right or is there something you'd like to see?


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken me so long to get up, but Real Life has been playing with me. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Lucky heather is now being cross posted to Wattpad

**_Chapter Nine:_ **

 

 _Clary lay on her front on her bed, her sketchpad on the throw in front of her. The pencil in her hand left stark lines on the white paper below her. Slowly, the lines took shape. As usual over the past few weeks, Jace’s face appeared in her drawings. She never_ planned _to draw him, but he was always there, even when she didn’t want him to be._  

 _With an audible huff, she slammed the sketchbook closed and threw it and the pencil onto the floor next to her bed._  

 _“Artist’s block?” Jace’s voice from behind her made her jump. She turned onto her back and looked at him. While he looked mostly the same, like_ her _Jace, there were a few minor differences. His eyes, those mesmerising mixture of pale blue and light brown, were ringed with red as if he hadn’t slept for days, and he’d lost weight around his face._  

 _“What are you doing here Jace?”_  

 _“I don’t know... I didn’t plan on coming here, but I just can’t seem to stay away even though I know I need to.”_  

 _In silence, he walked over to her, and when he reached the end of her bed, he kicked off his loosely laced boots and crawled onto it until he hovered above her, his hands either side of her head._  

 _“I thought you_ wanted _to stay away.”_  

 _“I thought I did too, but I can’t. It’s like we’re tethered together somehow.”_  

 _He locked eyes with her and Clary felt as if he were trying to read her soul. She could see he was fighting with his emotions and didn’t know what to say, so she grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him down to her, their lips crashing together._  

 _As they kissed, Jace felt the tension leave his body. Clary had that effect on him, and it was addictive. He moaned into her mouth as she slid her hands under the thin material of his t-shirt, and gently scraped the skin on his back with her fingernails._  

 _He pulled away from her, lifting his head to once again look down at her. Clary’s hazel eyes were looking up at him, filled with love, but tinged with sadness. Sadness he’d caused by being a total dick._  

 _“I’m sorry. I_ never _wanted to hurt you the way I have. Our distance has been weighing on me so much, and then I… snapped isn’t the right word, but it’ll do for now. I don’t want to make excuses because that’s all they’d be, but I’ve been so selfish and I regret it. So much.”_  

 _“Then why did you do it?” Clary wriggled out from underneath him and began to undress herself._  

 _“Because I needed to. Missing you was so hard, but I thought it would be easier to be without you completely.” Jace’s eyes followed Clary’s every move as she removed her clothes. “I just don’t know how to make it better.”_  

 _“Make love to me and we’ll sort it out after.” Clary finished removing her own clothing and made short work of Jace’s. “Together.”_  

 _He gave in to her demands. Leaning over her, resting his weight on his forearms against the bed either side of Clary’s head, he kissed her softly and slowly. They had all the time in the world, and he was going to make every moment and sensation last._  

 _The feeling of Clary’s fingers curling into his hair, her nails scraping gently against his scalp made him moan into her mouth. Smiling against his mouth, she lowered her hands and ran her nails down his neck and onto his back. Determined not to let her increase their pace, he dropped his lips away from her lips, kissing and nipping at her jawline, causing her to shiver in pleasure._  

 _At an excruciatingly slow pace, Jace moved down to her neck before kissing his way across her chest in a zigzag pattern. The sigh that left escaped her as he licked a circle around one of her hard nipples, pulling it into his mouth._  

 _As he paid attention to one with his mouth, Jace shifted his weight onto one arm, and began to tease and roll her other nipple with his thumb and forefinger which made Clary’s back arch off the bed. Slowly, he stroked her side and across her stomach with his fingertips, before moving further downwards to find her clit._  

 _Jace had always known how to turn Clary on so much, that her entire body quivered with desire. Smiling to himself, he stroked her clit slowly applying just the right amount of pressure which would make her squirm and moan. He ran the tip of his tongue around her nipple once more before moving down her body. His tongue left a wet trail that cooled in the air._  

 _As he reached her soft curls, he stopped circling her now swollen clit and withdrew his hand. Clary moaned at the loss of contact which made him smile again._  

 _“Patience Grasshopper.” The words made Clary laugh, which soon turned into a moan when Jace ran the tip of his tongue along her, making light contact with her sensitive clit. Her hands gripped his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp. The sensation made him shiver and moan, the vibrations from his deep voice worked their way through Clary’s body, feeling as if they touched every single nerve ending._  

 _“Jesus Christ!” She exclaimed, unable to control her body as she arched her back off the bed._  

 _“No, Jace Herondale…”_  

 _“Ha fucking ha.” The hiss in her voice let Jace know she was close to her climax. Without warning, he pulled away, shocking her. “Why did you stop?”_  

 _Jace didn’t say a word as he pulled his clothes off and crawled back onto the bed. Locking eyes with her, he moved up her body, placing feather light kisses on any skin he could reach before he lowered his body between her legs._  

 _“I want to be inside you when you come.”_  

 _Clary shuddered; not only at his words, but at the way his breath tickled her neck as he spoke. She grabbed hold of his hips and directed him into her. Jace groaned as he slid inside, the warmth from her arousal enveloping him fully._  

 _It didn’t take long for their movements to become frenzied as both of them approached climax. Jace kissed Clary as she was tipped over the edge, swallowing her moans. As she rode out her orgasm, she wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles as tight as she could, forcing him to thrust deeper. Within minutes, Jace roared out his release._  

 _:: ::_  

 _Jace emerged from the shower to find Clary had fallen asleep, her red hair covering her face. Gently, he leaned over to move it to look down at her, taking the air of peace surrounding her. When she was awake, Clary was so full of life and animated; something she managed to transfer to her drawings all the time. Jace loved to watch her sleep; it often felt like he was seeing her naked, not hiding behind laughter and charcoal. It gave him the opportunity to see the ‘real’ Clary Fray._  

 _Bending to place a soft kiss on her forehead, he whispered_  

_“I wish this wasn’t just a dream.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts. Are people enjoying this story?


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter Ten:_ **

 

**_Clary:_ **

It had been a couple of weeks since that last dream. Although I enjoyed catching up on my sleep, I missed them. Deep down, I knew they were only my imagination in overdrive, but they’d felt so real and I would take being close to Jace in my dreams over not being able to see or touch him at all.

Izzy kept questioning me about the dreams too, more than she ever had. She wanted details about what we did, and what was said. More than once I got too embarrassed to tell her anything in too much detail, but she pestered me until I did. I had no idea why she was doing it, and I was too nervous to ask. Knowing my luck, she was using it as fodder to write some weird erotica story and posting it online. I could just picture some randy old bloke reading about me and Jace getting intimate while cracking one out in his grotty one-bed flat.

Simon and Maia didn’t know anything about the dreams, and I was determined to keep it that way. They were both too busy to be dealing with my imaginary sex life. In fact, _I_ was too busy for it, but I had to deal with it.

I had a week’s break from uni, and I’d decided to go and spend time back at home with my mum and Luke. It hadn’t been an easy decision to make because of being close to Jace, but I needed to go somewhere I could completely relax; home was one of the only places I could do that.

Giving my room one final check to make sure I had everything I needed, I grabbed my bag and left the flat. Both Maia and Simon were in bed, but they knew I wouldn’t be around for a few days. I decided not to wake them up, and made my way to the train station. Immersing myself in loud music and one of my old sketchbooks, the journey flew by, and I was soon enveloped into Luke’s strong arms as he pulled me in close for a tight hug.

“We’ve missed you kid.” He held me at arm's length and raked his eyes over my face. “You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep between all your coursework?”

I mumbled a response about late nights and early mornings. There was no way on Earth I was going to tell him the truth. Also, I’d been feeling pretty run down for the last week or so, but I filed it away as stress. Which is why the break at home was sorely needed.

“You need to look after yourself better Clary. Your mum’s not going to be happy if you’re not looking after yourself properly.”

My mother, the eternal worry wart. Luke was right, she was going to go mental when she saw the bags under my eyes. Maybe I could slip into the bathroom and put on some make-up before Luke drove us home, but he didn’t give me the chance. He simply took my bag off me and began to walk out of the station; I had no choice but to follow him.

The drive from the station to mum and Luke’s house didn’t take long, but I still managed to fall asleep, my face smoothed against the cold window.

“Hey, Clary. We’re home.” Luke’s deep voice was soft as he shook me awake gently.

Sitting up, I looked around me at the small house and it’s gardens. The house I grew up in was a testament to my mother’s artistry and green fingers.

“Sorry. I’m such riveting company lately. I promise to try and stay awake for the rest of the day.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You were mumbling in your sleep as if you were upset about something.”

“I’m fine. Just worried about receiving some results.” I could tell he didn’t completely believe me, but he didn't push the subject any further; not that he had a choice. As soon as I climbed out of his car, my mum flew out of the the front door, through the front garden, and into my arms.

“It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you so much.” She was squeezing me so tight, I was beginning to feel light headed.

“Mum… I can’t breathe.”

With a soft laugh, she let me go and unconsciously mirrored Luke’s actions at the station. She held me at arm’s length and her green eyes- which were almost identical to my own- roamed my face.

“You look ill and you’ve lost far too much weight.” Her voice washed over me, despite her disapproving words, and tears filled my eyes. “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?”

Luke mumbled something about needing to get something done in his shed in the back garden. He never had dealt with emotion very well, and I couldn’t help but giggle through my tears.

“Let’s get you inside with a nice cup of tea, then you can tell me what’s bothering you so much.” Mum led me inside, not once removing her arm from my shoulders.

:: ::

After telling my mum about everything that had happened in the past couple of months was not only embarrassing as hell, but hard; I hated feeling weak because of my feelings for Jace. She was great, and told me to let myself feel my feelings; to work my way through the hurt. It was, she said, the only way to heal and get over him. Even if my brain wouldn’t let me forget him and how much I loved him.

Luke eventually joined us for a quick dinner of sandwiches and mum’s homemade lemonade. Seeing the two of them still so happy after so many years together gave me hope about the future, with or without Jace. I excused myself, went for a shower and to relax in my old bedroom.

Mum had promised to not change anything in my room, and she hadn’t; but there was a pile of her finished canvases stacked up against the wardrobe doors, the ones waiting to head down to the small gallery she ran in town. With a smile, I walked past them and collapsed onto my bed. I was exhausted, even though the most energetic thing I’d done was walk to the train station. It had been the same for the last week; I could barely stay awake in the evenings while I was supposed to be studying or sitting watching a DVD with Simon and Maia.

Just as I was dropping off to sleep, my phone bleeped with a text. Seeing Maia’s name, I opened it, smiling.

_Remember that guy I met at The Hunter’s Moon? He has a weird fetish for monthly times. What should I do?_

Grossed out, I dialled her number, knowing I needed the full story behind the ‘fetish’.

“What the hell Roberts? Monthly times? Are you twelve?” My words made her snort.

_“I wasn’t sure who was possibly looking over your shoulder.”_

“I’m alone, so it’s okay. Now, spill.”

I settled down against the pile of pillows at the head of my bed.

_“He called me yesterday, asking if I wanted to go out. Of course I’m not going to say no - you’ve seen him, right. Gorgeous. But anyway, I digress. Literally an hour before I’m due to leave, Aunty Fucking Flo shows up in my underwear. I neck a couple of painkillers, drop a couple of tampons in my bag, I can still go for a drink, right?”_

“Of course you can.” In the short time I’d known her, I’d never known Maia to _not_ go for a drink when invited by a good looking guy.

_“Exactly. So, I met him at the pub in the hopes we’d have a decent time and then arrange to meet up another time.”_

“Let me guess, he wanted more?”

_“Of course he did. He invited me to his place for ‘coffee’, not impressed when I told him I couldn’t; that I usually would. You know me, always up for a good time.”_

“I bet that went down well.” I couldn’t help but giggle, Maia always had a great story to tell; especially when it came to her dating escapades.

_“Like a brick chucked into a pond. Eventually, I told him the truth about being on my period. He got all excited and told me he’d always wanted to sleep with a girl on her time of the month.”_

“Ewww. That’s disgusting.”

_“I know right? I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he needed to go home and to never contact me again. I did a mad dash inside and crawled into bed with a tub of ice cream.”_

I laughed at the thought of Maia hiding from some guy, but I didn’t blame her one bit. The thought of what this dude had suggested had turned my stomach, so I could just imagine how it had made Maia feel, actually being there.

“So, I take it you don’t want to see… what was his name again?”

_“Jordan, and hell no. I’m not seeing him again. Nope, I don’t do blood sports.”_

“Nice imagery there Maia, thanks for that.” I tried to hide the yawn that threatened to take over me.

_“You’re always tired lately. Make sure you relax and destress Clary. Miss you, but I gotta go.”_

Without letting me respond, Maia ended the call. I dropped the phone onto the bed beside me and chuckled to myself as I recounted Maia’s story. Suddenly, I sat up and grabbed my phone again. I opened up the calendar and began to count. I ran the maths in my head and started to panic.

Having lived with Maia for a while now, our cycles had seemingly synced the weird way it happened, the two of us usually having our period within a day or two of each other - poor Simon. Thinking back, I realised that I was late. Another reason to relax and destress for the rest of the week.

I decided not to let the stress and how it affected my body bother me too much as I pulled the duvet over myself and curled up in the single bed of my childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts


	11. Chapter Eleven

**_Chapter Eleven:_ **

**_Jace:_ **

The early shift at Java Jones was my favourite. I didn’t have to work with Valentine because as far as he was concerned, he’d earned the right to not have to get up at stupid o’clock every day. It was great as Alaric and I usually worked together, and that made the shift pass me by even quicker.

Also, I finished work at a reasonable hour. No late nights not being able to make plans to go out, because what’s the point of meeting up with friends if you have to play catch-up? No, the early’s were the best because I had time to chill before having to put on my game face for my friends. Ever since the break up with Clary, they’ve been walking on eggshells around me which has driven me insane. Then, the dreams… Izzy hounded me for details before not saying a word. Not that I’m surprised. Iz is very comfortable with her sexuality and sensuality, and has never shied away from being open and honest; too much sometimes.

I decided to have a walk around town for a while before heading home. Living alone was great most of the time, I didn’t have to put up with anyone else’s mess, but lately it felt more constrictive. More and more, I tried to stay out as much as I could; allowing myself to breathe and soak in the sunshine, as little as it was.

The Institute was my favourite shop in town, but I decided against going in. I wasn’t in the mood to be interrogated by Isabelle again, so I walked towards the library, a building I hadn’t been inside for years. As I strolled along the busy streets, in no particular rush to get anywhere, I messed around with the latest Candy Crush level on my phone.

All around me, voices blended into background noise as I concentrated. It was a miracle I didn’t walk into anyone, but I made it to the library in one piece. Deciding against going inside straight away, I sat on the grass outside, a sliver of sunshine warming me through the black material of my uniform. I pulled a book out of my bag and dived into the words.

“Hey, Jace.” A female voice made me jump, disturbing my concentration. Looking up I could see Kaelie, a regular at Java Jones, standing over me.

“Oh, hey Kaelie.”

Without an invitation, she sat down next to me, and glanced at the book I was reading. It was one I had read time and time again, so much so that the pages and cover were well worn and starting to look a little dogeared.

“I never picked you for a fantasy book fan.” Kaelie indicated the book in my lap. _The Belgariad_ was my favourite series ever, and I re-read the books every so often. “In fact, I don’t think I had you pegged as much of a reader.”

Suddenly I remembered that she worked in the library; she’d mentioned it enough whenever she came in for her ‘skinny caramel macchiato’. Alaric often took the piss about her flirting with me, but I didn’t believe him. I’d never had any interest for anyone other than Clary.

“My tastes are eclectic.” I smiled at her, noticing the blush to her face it caused.

“Oh, really? Is that just books, or does that include… other areas of your life?” Although her voice was strong and confident, I could see the blush in her cheeks deepening, and she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Knowing she was a little embarrassed at the way she was flirting made me feel good. Girls flirted with me all the time at the coffee shop, but that was work—and they were barely legal. This felt very different.

“Well now, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

Her laugh was high pitched and light, almost like the fairy in the series of Disney films Izzy had liked as a kid. It grated on me a little, but I pushed the feeling aside. It felt good to have a beautiful woman paying me attention after the last few weeks.

“So, why are you sitting out here anyway?” Kaelie asked, finally looking me in the eye.

“I just finished work, and didn’t feel like going straight home.” It was the truth.

“How come I never see you with that pretty redhead anymore?”

My heart stuttered at her question, unsure what she was leading up to.

“She’s away at uni… we’re not together any more.”

_ Fuck Jace, sort out the mopey voice.  _ My internal voice hated Mopey Jace and wanted me to forget about Clary, especially now the dreams had stopped.

“Oh, that’s such a shame.” Her voice didn’t match her words, it was almost gloating about the fact. “How long ago did that happen?”

“About a couple of months ago, maybe a little more. The days have blurred a little.” I sounded like a complete loser, but a quick glance at Kaelie’s pretty face told me that she didn’t particularly care.

“Well, I would say I’m sorry… but, I’m kind of not.” She glanced down at her watch. “Crap, I’m late. Are you coming inside?” She indicated the library.

“Maybe in a bit, I’m enjoying the sunshine for now.”

A look of disappointment flashed across Kaelie’s face, so quickly I couldn’t be sure I’d even seen it.

“Okay. Hopefully I’ll see you later.”

I watched her walk away, her tall and slender body swaying as she headed towards the large, red brick building. Her clothes, as ever, were tight fitting and showed off her curves.

_ Jesus Herondale. You’re an idiot. A hot woman is blatantly showing interest in you, and you’re ‘enjoying the sunshine’.   _

Shoving my book back into my bag, I pulled myself to my feet and started walking towards the library, intent on getting to know Kaelie better. For some reason, when I reached the huge wooden doors, I turned and looked along the street behind me.

I could have sworn I saw a flash of bright red hair walking into the pharmacy down the road. Tempted to go and see if I was imagining things or not, I took a step onto the pavement. After giving myself an internal slap, I turned back to the library and walked inside. It must have been my mind playing tricks on me, Clary was too busy at uni, I would have heard if she was in town because Izzy wouldn’t have been able to keep her mouth shut.

It was time I started to move forward, and maybe Kaelie was the person to help me do just that; for now.

:: ::

Waking up the next morning, I was disorientated. Looking around, I could see I was in my own bedroom, but but something was ‘off’’. Sitting up was a problem, thanks to the arm that was slung across my waist; Kaelie was fast asleep, snoring softly. A feeling of dread came over me, but I told myself to stop being an idiot.

Sliding out from under her arm, I padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I moved around the bare space making a fresh pot of coffee. Flashes of memories ran through my mind of me and Kaelie in bed; naked and sweating. Just the thought of her pinning me down to ride me until I exploded was enough to make my heart rate pick up. I considered abandoning the coffee to crawl back into the bed and wake Kaelie up with my tongue, but I realised that thinking about sex had no affect on me. I wasn’t turned on by the thought of spending the day in bed with an attractive, sexually adventurous, and flexible woman. More than anything, I wanted her out of my home so I could spend some time alone.

As the coffee brewed, I walked silently around my bedroom to pick up some clean clothes, then went for a steaming, hot shower. By the time I was done, Kaelie had gone; leaving just a note next to the coffee machine.

_ See you soon xx _

Throwing it in the bin, I poured myself a coffee before pulling my book out of my bag and sitting at the tiny breakfast bar. I had the entire day to myself, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary tries to get answers, but are they ones she's looking for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it's been an age since I updated this... I have no excuses other than I'm easily distracted by other fandoms (gasp) and pretty things.
> 
> It's only a shortish chapter, but it's (hopefully) a turning point in the story...
> 
> I'm still not sure why I italicised it, but it is what it is...

**_Chapter Twelve:_ **

_ Clary walked down the high street, the money in her jeans pocket burning a hole through to her leg. Her mum and Luke had been out when she had decided to get out of the house for a bit. It had been a couple of days since she had realised her period was late. Chalking it up to stress of uni and the break up with Jace, followed by the dreams, she’d pushed it to one side. _

_ Until she woke up with tender boobs. Literally, just putting on her bra and walking down stairs caused them pain and she was constantly uncomfortable. Looking up causes of tenderness in the breasts online, Clary kept coming back to one word;  _ pregnant.  _ It wasn’t possible; she and Jace hadn’t been together in almost six months, and she hadn’t slept with anyone since— and she wouldn’t even consider unprotected sex even if she had. _

_ The decision to go and buy a pregnancy test was more or less to rule out one cause of why she felt so tired and had tender breasts. Once that was done, she would talk to her mum so they could work it out together; the way they always had. _

_ As she walked towards the pharmacy, Clary stopped in her tracks. Being back home, there was always the possibility of bumping into jace, but seeing him sitting on the grass outside the library took her by surprise. She’d purposely avoided the coffee shop she adored, and made sure to meet up with Izzy away from the Institute in order to not see him, but seeing him there, flirting, knocked her for six. _

_ The temptation to approach him and speak to him was strong, she’d already taken three steps in his direction before willing herself to stop and enter the pharmacy. With a final glance in his direction, she turned her back on his bright smile; visible even from so far away. _

_ Lying in her bed, waiting for the dreams to come, Clary could feel her tears rolling down her face. More than ever, she needed the dreams to return, but it had been over a month since the last one. For some reason they had stopped, leaving her feeling more abandoned than ever. Even in her dreams, Jace seemed to have forgotten about her, when she needed him more than ever. _

_ :: :: _

_ Jace sat behind the counter at Java Jones, bored. It was the late shift, and the place was empty. No one had been in for a drink in over an hour, yet Valentine insisted on staying open. It was alright for him, he was in the office playing solitaire on the crappy old computer. _

_ Kaelie had been in after the library had closed for the day, hinting to be invited back to Jace’s for a repeat performance, but he’d managed to blow her off. Alec and Magnus had popped in on their way to somewhere Jace really wasn’t interested in hearing about. Alec had been worried about Jace, claiming he looked tired and gaunt, but had been persuaded to leave with Magnus after Jace had promised to go home and straight to bed after his shift had finished. _

_ Izzy had hung around for a couple of hours, sitting on one of the stools by the window, watching Jace intently. It had unnerved him, and no matter what he said to her, she wouldn’t tell him why she was there. There was an air about her, as if she had a secret that she was dying to tell him, but she never did. Eventually, with a small smile on her face, she left him to go and meet someone who’s name Jace hadn’t been interested in. _

_ Naturally, when he was alone, his mind wandered to Clary. He wondered what she was doing; if she was living her life to the fullest at university. While he’d still been having the dreams, he could cope with not being able to talk to her, hold her, or even see her; but now they had stopped, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. _

_ Finally, Valentine appeared and told him to leave. Without arguing about closing up, Jace grabbed his bag and left the coffee shop and began to walk home. The night air was cold, but it didn’t bother him. His leather jacket didn’t provide much protection against the building wind, but Jace relished the sharp sting. _

_ As he rounded the corner to walk along the short path leading to his low-rise block of flats, he saw Clary sitting on the stone step. She hadn’t heard him approaching, so he stopped and watched her for a moment, unsure if he was hallucinating or not. _

_ She had her phone in her hands, playing with it, without looking at it. It was clear from her body language that she was nervous and had something on her mind. _

_ Definitely not a hallucination, otherwise she’d look happy to see him and throw herself into his arms. _

_ Taking a deep breath, he took a step forward, making sure she heard him. When she looked up at him, Jace saw that her eyes were red and puffy. She’d been crying. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts...

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this idea came from, but I'm running with it.
> 
> This is my first TMI/Shadowhunters fic and the characters are based more on TV show characters than the books.


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